{ 20% Cooler than you }

sherlocksmyth:

sherlocksmyth:

one time my religion teacher who has a monobrow asked me “what the hell did you do to your hair?” because i had a blonde streak through it and i said “what the hell did you do to your eyebrow” and he sent me outside

when i came back in he asked everyone what monotheism was and i said it meant a religion that worshiped one god because mono means one as in monobrow and he sent me out again

maleteen:

if anyone ever breaks your heart just remember they are only human and you can break their body 

lvysaur:

youhavetooletgo:

lvysaur:

x is my least favorite letter now because of math

Y?

i swear to fucking god

(Source: fuckyeahtattoos)

th3-bl1nd-d3t3ct1ve:

dampsandwich:

i was born wearing sunglasses

ethanwearsprada:

i think it’s a universal truth that everyone in our generation takes pluto’s losing its planetary status as a personal offense

sewphia:

10 years from now people are gonna ask me how my teenage years went and I will just start crying

(Source: whiscash)

lordfarsquaad:

When im dead my new email will be imnot@live.com

(Source: statute)

peixes-meenah:

jake-inglish:

cooler than u

why

netlfix:

legend has it theres life outside the internet

(Source: consultingsonic)

illkim:

*throws $20 bill at stripper* hey can I have the change

geometricdeathtrap:

metallikato:

generallegendary:

metallikato:

jewelstaites:

how to give a good handjob

• bop it
• pull it
• twist it

• harder
• better
• faster
• stronger 

You pull your left hand in
You pull your left hand out
You pull your left hand in
And you shake it all about!

Cha cha real smooth

none of you ever touch a penis

printers, now available with attitude 

(Source: milktree)